By Laura Stephens-Reed
These are challenging days. One of my professors made the bold claim a couple of years ago that the entire world is a trauma zone. Trauma occurs when we cannot fully process a crisis and the experience of it lingers in our bodies. It can be reactivated again and again when sensory input triggers memories of the original threat. These calamities can occur at interpersonal (such as abuse), systemic (injustice perpetuated by institutions) and even global (like the pandemic) levels. We can be faced with multiple traumas at once, making safe spaces few and far between.
Living in the trauma zone requires us to build up our resilience, which is the ability to maintain or regain balance – and perhaps even thrive – during difficulty. In her book Emergent Strategy community organizer Adrienne Maree Brown offers water as an image for resilience.
When water encounters rocks and downed trees in a riverbed, it goes over, under or around those obstacles. When water gets too hot or too cold, it adapts by changing form, evaporating into cloud moisture or freezing into ice. In other words, water doesn’t deny its circumstances, but instead gets creative about how to persist in them, never giving up its elemental essence.
There are five keys to being resilient like water:
Staying connected to our bodies. Our bodies are wise. They tell us when something is not quite right with us. We must give them attention to take advantage of this deep knowing and make needed adjustments. Deepening our breath, scanning our bodies for tension and moving with intention can all help us reconnect with the physical self that God wonderfully made and called good.
Living with authenticity. Shame, the feeling that we are bad and unworthy of belonging, is often at the root of performing like the people we think we should be. But we cannot be resilient until we tap into the reflection of God’s image within us. (After all, God has already offered us love and acceptance in the form of grace!) We can do this by discerning our own purpose statement, our “why” for being. We can name our core commitments and our divinely provided gifts. We can consider the narrative we tell ourselves and others about our lives, because while there is often more than one true story, one might be more encouraging and empowering than the others.
Exercising agency. The goal here is not to try to control everything in our lives. That is a recipe for stress! (Also, we are not God.) Instead, it grows resilience to think about areas where we do have influence – even just a little bit – and then to claim those opportunities. It is important to be attuned to our needs for nourishment, security and meaning so that we can make conscious decisions about how to meet them appropriately. We can assess the stressors in our lives, looking for ways to eliminate or at least turn the volume down on them. We can consider the relationships we’re in and the impact they have on us, building the bonds that bolster us to dull the effects of the more negative people around us. We can name the activities, whether part of work or play, that engage us so that we can make more space for those flow moments. We can set goals that are attainable but that also stretch us into showing up in the world the way that we want.
Building a circle of support. Resilience, like faith, is not a solo effort. We need those around us who see and value us for who we truly are, cheer us in our quests for growth, help us when we need it and hold us accountable for being people of integrity. These relationships are two-way streets. We offer these gifts to others as well. This mutuality allows us to build a collective resilience with compounding positive impact.
Tending to joy. Our God of love and abundance created us for delight, which means that tending to our joy is as much a stewardship matter as tithing is. Part of joy is taking stock of our health, making sure we work toward a good baseline (however you define it) physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Another aspect is making space for play. In a world that emphasizes productivity at all costs, having fun bears witness to the fact that there is a bigger picture, and it replenishes the store of positive emotions that we can draw upon in harder moments.
Everyone has and can grow the capacity to be resilient thanks to our bodies, brains, relationships, resources and choices – and of course to the God who gifts us all these important tools. Our own track record for survival is pretty good since we’re still here, and probably some days we could even say we are thriving.
I hope that the keys listed above help you think of ways you can be like water, not just moving with the challenges you encounter but using your powerful life force to change your environment for the better. After all, the human body is about 55% water, and with the Spirit at your back, you have what you need to contribute your resilience to the world.