By Andy Hale
Every parent wants to protect their child from failure. We step in when friendships unravel, worry when grades slip and ache when our children find themselves left out, disappointed or sitting on the bench. But what if some of the setbacks we work hardest to prevent are actually essential to helping young people grow? This week on the CBF Podcast Conversation, Andy Hale welcomes New York Times bestselling author, speaker and educator Michelle Icard to discuss her book Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success and what more than two decades of working with adolescents has taught her about failure, resilience and growing up.
Michelle challenges parents to reconsider the instinct to rescue children whenever life becomes difficult. Through eight common setbacks and her practical “Contain, Resolve, Evolve” framework, she explores how young people can learn to navigate disappointment without being defined by it. Andy and Michelle discuss the difference between productive struggle and overwhelming experiences, why parents sometimes experience a child’s failure as their own and how o
ur achievement-driven culture can unintentionally rob young people of opportunities to discover that they are capable of recovering, adapting and moving forward.
The conversation also carries important implications beyond parenting. For pastors, youth ministers, teachers and other adults who help form young people, Michelle offers a compelling question: “Are we creating communities where children are allowed to get things wrong without being consumed by shame?” Rather than clearing every obstacle from their path, perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give young people is a community that remains beside them when they stumble and helps them discover that a setback does not have to be the end of their story.
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Sponsorship
This podcast is presented by:
- Baylor’s Garland School of Social Work: Social workers can be found addressing the full scope of the human experience in churches, schools, prisons, government agencies, senior living centers, nonprofits, and Fortune 500 companies.
- Baptist Seminary of Kentucky: BSK equips leaders through their Homegrown Initiative, offering ministry leaders training and growth that fits into their busy schedules.
- The Gardner-Webb School of Divinity: The Gardner-Webb University School of Divinity aims to equip, nurture, encourage, and support men and women for their very best service in the Kingdom of God.
- The Center for Congregational Health: Strengthening congregations through consulting, leadership coaching, and intentional ministry.
- The Baptist House of Studies at Union Presbyterian Seminary: Exists by God’s grace to educate, inspire, and support generations of bold, faithful servant leaders as they seek actively to participate in God’s mission in the world.
- Community Transformation Center: Through educational opportunities, community conversations, and research initiatives in collaboration with universities and local leaders, PBACTC is at the forefront of integrating spiritual care into holistic community development.
- Creation Justice Ministries: Creation Justice Ministries equips churches to turn conviction into faithful action with Scripture-based resources, worship guides, and community support to pursue environmental justice and care for God’s creation.
- Dawnings: Through prayerful discernment, storytelling, and collaborative visioning, Dawnings helps churches rediscover their calling and imagine their next chapter—guided by trained facilitators and grounded in God’s ongoing story.
- Congregational Ministries Team of CBF Global: Through coaching, resources, and collaborative support, CBF’s Congregational Ministries Team helps churches and ministers cultivate the five traits of thriving—Rooted Relationships, Compelling Clarity, Holy Tenacity, Strategic Agility, and Dynamic Collaboration—for faithful and flourishing ministry.
- Karis Parenting: Looking for a gift for new families, resource options for Children’s Moments, or even just a beautiful book to read at home with your preschoolers? Karis Parenting is here to help. Karis Parenting is an independent publisher from First Baptist Church of Asheville.
- Faith X: We work with congregations, judicatories, and denominational bodies to assess their strengths and weaknesses, explore missional opportunities and challenges in the neighborhoods they serve, and leverage their strengths to engage community issues. We achieve this through data-grounded consulting, training, and coaching approach.
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Andy Hale is the creator and host of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship Podcast. Hale is the Associate Executive Coordinator of CBF North Carolina. He’s also served as CBF’s Church Start Specialist, the founding pastor of Mosaic Church of Clayton, and the senior pastor of University Baptist Church of Baton Rouge. Follow on Twitter @haleandy.