By Colin Kroll, CBF Young Adult Ministries Manager
“Where are the young people?”
It’s the question I’ve heard more than any other in my first year with CBF, and there’s no surprise why. Individuals between the ages of 18-35 have stepped away from traditional expressions of faith communities in record numbers over the past few decades, and their absence is felt. How do we even begin to find them?
Several weeks ago, I received a text from one of my best friends, Thomas, asking for prayers. His elderly dog had gone missing while Thomas’s parents were pet sitting. I told him I’d pray, but I also grabbed my keys to go join his parents in their search.
When I got to their home, I immediately started searching the vast woods behind the house. After all, I’d always heard old dogs sneak off to the woods to die, and Tucker is 15 years old. Two hours of walking, praying and tripping over fallen branches later, and Tucker was no closer to being found.
As I walked back towards the house, I saw Thomas’s car coming down the street. He’d given up on trying to work through the stress and concern, and he decided to come and look for himself. When he arrived, he pulled alongside me and rolled down the window. “Get in. We’re going across the highway.”
I was surprised, but I got in. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep checking the woods or the fields beyond?”
Thomas was undeterred. He explained to me that Tucker had gotten out several years ago, and the first place he had run was across the highway to the shopping center. “Tucker loves people and other dogs. He’s not going to hide in the woods. He’s going to go where he can be loved on and played with.”
That’s when it hit me. I’d been looking for Tucker in all the spaces that websites and common folk wisdom had told me a dog of his age would go. Thomas, on the other hand, reflected a posture we can learn from as we ask, “Where are the young adults in our communities?”
Thomas operated on the wisdom and intuition that can only be formed through relationship. Thomas knows Tucker. He knows what Tucker looks for when he gets out because he knows Tucker’s nature. Stereotyping Tucker by his age left me in exhausted in the woods looking for what an old dog will do rather than what Tucker would do.
BARNA, Pew and other research organizations have a lot to offer us, but they can’t replace the need for truly spending time and taking risks to know the young adults in our communities, and there ARE young adults in our communities. Even if they don’t make up a critical mass of our Sunday morning attendance, if they only engage in service opportunities or special events, if they are just the people in our families, there are young adults in our lives we can build relationships and learn from. The way forward isn’t intense market research that informs massive outreach programs. We build for whom we love, not for whom we lack.
Thomas believes against all odds that Tucker is more than a body to be recovered.
Thomas didn’t operate on the assumption that Tucker was dead or a lost cause. I’ve heard that assumption in conversations about young adults. Sure, we know young adults are technically alive, but sometimes we operate on the assumption they are cold, starving and terrified and alone. We assume they are wandering lost and hopeless in the world, while we have all the assurance, all the mission and all of what is holy. If we could just rescue them, we could teach them how to live in love of God and neighbor, right?
We must acknowledge that the places that young adults are gathering are not the young adult equivalent to animal shelters. Whether they are finding community and purpose in book clubs, pickleball leagues, volunteer groups, running clubs, Dungeons and Dragons campaigns or any number of other spaces, we must recognize these aren’t simply holding spaces until they find something more fulfilling in our ministries. These are spaces where people are being formed, shaping their faith and coming together with communities that inspire and challenge them. In fact, many of our flourishing young adult communities within CBF are leaning on these experiences to fill the gaps in what traditional church participation is missing.
At the time of writing this, we still haven’t found Tucker. It turns out, you can do everything right, and you may still not see the results you want to see. But in the searching, I’ve learned more about Tucker than I knew before. I’ve learned about all the side streets of Dunn, N.C. from driving around Thomas’s hometown. I’ve gotten connected to pet search groups in the area, and I’ve gotten to participate in some small way in the love of Christ for a friend in need. May the Church be as blessed in our search.
Colin Kroll serves as CBF’s Young Adults Ministry Manager.